Long distance love

Jun 21, 2012 by

Long distance love

You need have a certain mind set if your long distance relationship is to work. Both parties to the relationship have to be equally committed, and they have to be both trusting and trustworthy. Without these ingredients, doubts and fears will wriggle their way into your mind and begin to eat away at your relationship.

In many ways if you have the right attitude, a long distance relationship can be substantially closer than a relationship where you are together for 365 days of the year. There are many reasons for this. The main one is probably the fact that you do not get into a hum-drum routine where every day begins to look the same and you start to take each other for granted.

The periods of time when you are apart allow you to appreciate the benefits of being together; you realise how much you have in common, you miss your partner and your feelings for each other become even more powerful and positive. When you communicate on the telephone for days or weeks at a time you make good use of those conversations; you pay full attention to each other, and save things up to chat about. If you were together all of the time, it could become easy to only talk about everyday things and the risk is you don’t pay as much attention to each other or fully focus on what the other one has to say.

In many ways a long distance relationship can be more intense because of the time spent apart. You become very focused upon putting your relationship first, as opposed to last which is what sadly happens in so many cases. You find yourself working harder when you are apart and getting as many “jobs” done as possible so that when you get together you can just ‘be’ together and enjoy each other without worrying about the dull day-to-day jobs that need done. It may well be that it is not a case of making long distance relationships work but appreciate that these types of relationships can work well even though you are forced to spend time apart.

Plans you make when you are due to have time together actually DO tend to happen therefore you feel excited about getting together again, and you look forward to being together, just these anticipatory emotions will make the actual event better as well. Your own expectations intensify your emotional experiences together.

The fact that you have many opportunities to “miss” your partner reinforces to you how very much you care; you have a regular reminder of how you care deeply for this person. All of these things serve to make your relationship stronger, as long as you both stay committed, trusting and trustworthy.

If you are not committed you will use your time apart to enjoy your freedom and do as you please; time will not be spent in building your emotional attachment to that other person or growing your relationship in a positive way. Equally, if you doubt your partners faithfulness and fidelity, your emotional experience will be extremely negative and filled with worry and fear; your relationship will be soul destroying.

This latter effect is not peculiar to long distance relationships; it stands true for all relationships. To make any relationship work you need to have a strong sense of who you are; you have to believe in yourself and have confidence in yourself. In this way you will be able to relax, have fun and build a great partnership. You will also have the confidence to trust your own instincts, and move away from a relationship in which the other party is uncommitted.

Making long distance relationships work is actually not that difficult a task, so long as you bring to them the right mind set.

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