View Full Version : Can I ask everyone how do you cope with your fella being away for a long time?
As I am really struggling to not miss him so much. He tells me that I have got to stop missing him as much but I cant get through to him that when you are in-love with the person you are with it is normal to miss them or am I wrong? Please help me as I am new to this?:)
Hey..
Your always going to have good and bad days, we all have them.
Thats why you need 2 keep busy and find things to do.
Do things you havent done in ages.
Is your oh away on tour?
The girls on here will be happy to chat to ya! As most are in the same boat!
Keep ya chin up hun x And start a countdown...thats helped me! x x
Hey Hun
I think what your OH is just worried about you and wants you not to be sad all the time. I made a real effort not to let on to my OH that I was so down and missed him and made myself sound happier at times than I really was. You do it so that he doesn't worry about you being sad and upset at home. If he knows you are miserable and sad all the time it makes things harder for him and he needs to know you can manage. But its a fine line, to showing you miss him and also showing you can cope.
I miss my man like crazy and most of the girls here will probably say the same, but its normal to feel this way and shows how much you care , so don't feel bad about that!
You can do it hun , try and get busy and before you know it you won't miss him so much as you will adapt to it and get used to time apart.
Here if you need to talk
Lucy XX
Hello lovely lady!
I can tell you about my experience, is this your first tour? How long has he been gone hun?
John went on tour on New Years day which was horrible, I went back to my Moms and stayed there for a couple of weeks! It was like I went into shock and didn't want to see anyone!
After those couple of weeks, I completely threw myself into my uni and seeing friends, firends who supported me and were awesome!
Then a couple of weeks before he came back I was kinda in shock again, haha!
I guess what i'm trying to say is - don't worry, you will miss him and it is normal! Everyone deals with seperation in different ways, no one is to say if it's right or wrong!
aww bless hunni, it's hard with them being away but the other girls are right, keeping busy is the best thing you can do. As for missing them, that it totally normal, i miss my oh like crazy and tell him all the time, doesnt mean that i cant cope though. we all have good days and bad days, and coming on here chatting to these lovely ladies helps so much. xxx
I haven't seen my friend since March, and I may not see him again till Christmas. I miss him horribly. That is normal. There are three things that have helped me make it this far.
1) Exercise. When my friend comes back to me he has promised me a six pack. Until April, I was the type of person who sat on the sofa eating crunchy salty things watching television. There was no way I was going to keep up with him when he gets back. So I started exercising. When I'm sad, scared and especailly angry, I go work out. So helpful!!
2) I write. One or two times a day. I figure he doesn't want to hear whiny crap from me when he's dodging rockets in the desert in the summer. So I think about the good things that happened in my day,(or a way to make the bad things seem funny) or something beautiful that I saw, or I surf the web for silly news stories. When I'm done writing him his note, I can't help but feel better myself.
3) I found this site. The women here are wise, and they have been through it all. If you have concerns, they have helpful advice. And the chat room is always open these days.
Other things, like keeping busy and surounding yourself with positive people are good things as well, but for me, those are the big three.
Waiting... beautifully put ... explains anything i would have said ... only in a way that makes loads of sense!!!
Welcome to WAGS stardust xxx
hey hun
itr is hard at first when they go away but you just gotta keep yourself busy, write letters, parcels for him but also do stuff for you, set yourself targets to meetby the time he next comes back and it'll help the time pass, like loosing weight, learning to drive a car or something, anything to keep you occupied.
xx
Hello angel, and welcome to wags!!!! Firstly, you have done one of the best things so far... Joined this site, lots of help and support for you....
My fella came home from Iraq in May, after a 7 month tour... the first half was 4 n half months, then he got rnr and the second half was 2 months...
Must admit, it wasnt easy at times... and i had my down days... but dont we all... However, i did find it easier once i was into a routine...
I took up exercise.. an extra weekend job for the times i would prob feel lonelier.. and i did anythin to keep busy..
Once he went away, i got into doin a countdown.. i crossed off everyday.. and waited paitiently everyweek to say another week had gone by... I sent him parcels weekly, which gave me a challenge and somert to look forward to doin.. Once, i had got myself into all this.. Time literaly flew by.. And 7 months went by soooo quick!!
The ladies have all given you some really good advice.. its up to you, how you deal with a tour/fella bein away.. but i found taking an ignorance to the news helped me amazingly.. as i imagined he was just in a camp, where i couldnt see him.. trust me, thats how i got by!!
Anyway, im always around to chat.. so i hope you never feel lonely, as theres too many amazin girls on here to chat to!!!!
Much loves xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi and welcome,
It is hard to cope when your oh is away, i thought i was going to go crazy, ive had days where ive just sat in bed and cried but you have to keep your self busy keep your friends close they will help you through it and the ladies on here help so much, i cant believe i have coped 5 months but all the ladies on here are strong and listen to all your problems from small to big things, take care of yourself xx
Ah Waiting - you have a way with words. That was spot on.
Exercise
This site
Parcels
Writing - eblueys, blueys, cards, emails...
I also think it's fair to say that thinking about him keeps me sane. Daft little daydreams, looking at photographs of us together and generally remembering all the good things about the relationship. It's really important to keep the relationship alive, even though it can feel like it's in hibernation. It's the only way to keep out of the gloom and away from temptation.
It's hard, but for me I'm pretty sure that the worst bit was the anticipation. I didn't realise I could be this strong before (and I'm a bit of a ballbreaker at the best of times!)
x
Thanks Boots and Belle for your kind words. Many of the things I've written lately have been misunderstood and I was beginning to doubt my writing tone :)
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