View Full Version : is it worth it?
Hey there, hope u all had a good weekend, i thought i would but really didnt. I went see oh in darlington and got a hotel for a couple of nights, the thing is we spent nearly the whole weekend arguing, mainly due to me, me being self concious me moaning me making unnessasary comments, when we went to the station for me to come home he basically said tht if i carry on like this then he doesnt think tht it is worth it anymore, hes says he loves me loads but he cnt deal with arguing everytime we see each other which is a fair point. Iv said that i will work on it but i dnt feel tht there is a quick fix for it, iv been like this for a long time, i always seem to look at the negatives in everything and need to chill out a bit. I just dont know whether its worth carrying on anymore, our relationship has been rocky from the off but i do actually love him with all of my heart and i cant bare to think of him out of my life but would it be easier for everyone if i just do the hard thing and call it a day now instead of both of us getting hurt? I dont want to lose him but i dont know what to do for the best. xxxxx
aww hunni, sorry to hear ur weekend wasnt all that good. i think couples go through stages of rows and little bickers. me and my oh did last yr just before going on holiday. it was like every little thing just turned into a row. we got through it and havent really argued since. i think it depends on whether you feel you can both get through this and work on the relationship and come out the other side. if you love him and he loves you then of course it'll be worth giving it a go. what have you got to lose if you dont try? relationships were never meant to be easy, especially the sort of relationships we have, they do put extra pressure on you and add loads more insecurities as we dont always know what they're doing etc. it all comes down to what you feel you should do. i hope ur ok hunni, its awful arguing but if ur meant to be together it'll all work out i'm sure xxxx
Hey hun
I used to be the same then after my oh said "these days i dont like ringing you we always fight" that hit me hard and did some sould searching then was able to realise and admitt to my oh it was that i was subconciously angry at him always being away and found I would create an argument to stop myself missing him coz obv being away so much you dont get the constant lovin reassurance (in person) i only started to figure it out coz the moods had a pattern and not talking pmt lol... do you find u fight more when away or together? maybe just try and pinpoint what is causing you to feel like this? but if you love him dont just give up work through it hun! xxxxxxx
Heya hunni, me and lou have the same problem, we are both very insecure, if he goes out on a night i get worried if i go out with my mates clubbing, then he is worried and in the morning ends as us on the phone completely not talking to eachother. sometimes on a weekend i have gone to see him, and all we have done is argue about silly things like, a girl txt his phone or sometimes i think he is going to leave me for someone else, some silly things like that to the point he does say... well how can we be togther if we are acting like this. it is hard to get over something like being insecure it is who you are and it is really hard. Your OH hasnt called it off and he loves you, i d say you both stay together and sit together and talk face to face about it, thats what me and lou did and now we are fine, we do have arguments but either one of use leave and walk away for a minute or we resolve it! if you love him as much as you say you do hunni then you need to stick in there, think about all the good times you too do have, and if you do argue, just stop and be silent for a minute then say his name.. and say I LOVE YOU it will stun him fore a minute. and he will say it back. listen to what your heart says hunni, and if you love him im sure there is away to work it oit babe. let us all know what you sedice and we are all here for you! all the best.. love han xxxxxxxx
Hi Amanda
I will add to the list of women saying.. " been there, and I know how you feel" as I have and I do. Me and OH had a patch of continuously arguing. It was really draining and upseting for us both. Oh has said a few times " I've just had enough of this, its too hard".... but when it got to that point we sat down, had a big heart to heart and each got our problems off our chests.
It isn't easy being away from your man and it is hard being an army wag but you can do it if your hearts in the right place. You love each other and I think you will make it through.
Me and OH still have rows.. but we both said ( only last night infact) that we have better balance of things now. My OH is one of the most firey army types so if we can manage I know you can!!
Best of luck hun
Lucy
Well since iv been back at home this week and not seen oh. we have beeen talking everynight and things are so much better. iv calmed down and trying to be more myself. I think this has just put alot of pressure on me atm but im going to try and keep myself busy and not dwell on it too much which is what I think has been the main problem. Hes coming home for valentines day next weekend so hopefully we will have a much happier weekend. Thanks for all yr kind words it has meant alot to have people to talk to. xxxxxxx
I know how u feel 100% me and my oh James fight all the time we go days even weeks not talking to eachother and he is 30!!! Im feeling excatly how you do at times im thinking right now if mine and j's realtionship is worth it, he used to doate on me but arugement after arguement he has turned controling tat if we argue and stop talking we will only make up when he wants to and just crap like that...Hope you work it out hun xx
well hunni i think it worth the fight i been a bitch recently like the way i speek to andy and its hard to get outta it but just keep pushing and u will get there i think if u love him and he says he loves u its worth a fight even if the end result is the 1 you dont want then atlest u know u tried i think if u ended it u would kick ur self for a while just try hun. hope ur ok huggs xxxx
Oh ive been there. So sorry that your there now i wouldnt wish it on anybody but firstly you need to open up to your OH in a way that he doesnt feel like your nagging so he understands any concerns you have. If he doesn't then hes got a problem too. I used to pick up on everything and now ive learnt to think about what i say and do before so i can either word it right or not say it. Sometimes moods can clash too. Ive learnt to know when hes in certain moods so i know what to say and i also know how to distract him if i say something and hes misunderstood then i can take him off the subject before it hits arguement stage. Its all about knowing the other person to the point you know what to say and what to keep to yourself for a more appropriate time. Hope it works out. Give me a shout if you need anything else xx
I hope things are sorted now :) x x
I try so hard to talk to him but no matter how nice i am he thinks im nagging at him, smething iin him has changed and I dont know what. We had a falling out the other week and he told me he waas not sure he wanteed to be with me or he loved me ne more but wen i asked him to leave my flat he wouldnt :confused: then he said he did love me etc etc...We have not spoke since sunday as my friend text him by mitake thinking he was someone else and he was tellign her he was single etc etc so we have fallen out over that and i was being such a nasty bitch to him on monday now he wont answer my calls and i kep trying. even now wen he still hs a go at me i ust dont bite back and i tell him i love him and i miss him but i get nothing back. I just cannot beat the feeling that he is cheating on me :confused: im quite reserved with him and i do hold back due to the fact my ex was very voilent towards me.. I just want James to suck it up answer the phone and talk to me instead of treating me like this becuase at the moment i just dont know where i stand the sand thing is wen we are happy we are soo happy its sickly...and now we have fallen out as sad as this seems everything in my flat all of a sudden smells like him ;( i really miss him xx
Finall managed to speak to james and he has told me he is not sure he loves me ne more and that we will speak more tomorrow night wen he has calmed down but at the moment he thinks we are over x:mad::eek:
oh hunny. thats not good. i've been there and now we are back together. sometimes all they need is time to realise what they want. listen to a song called "maybe he'll notice her now by mindy mccready" its all bout a woman who walks away from a guy to make him realise how much he takes her for granted. and thats what happened with my OH and someone else i know so i think these army guys dont realise what they have until they have lost it. just take it a day at a time and if u really think its meant to be then dont give up. let us know what happens x x
I listened to the song its lovely xx
just read your other thread about breaking up. like i said a day at a time and make sure he has his space. it will all work out for the better. forget the people of your past theres a reason they didnt make it to your future xx
Hey Girls,
Well he came to collect his things from the flat on tuesday as we broke up monday...my plan to look ultra cool and calm about the sitaution ****ed right up. I wanted to act like i was not bothered but i got all upset and cryed GRR
which kinda pushed him futher away...he said he was shocked about the reation he got, didnt realise i would get so upset:confused:
So last night i thought it would be a great idea to go into my local down and drink as this is our first weekend apart...Bad idea got to bout 1.30 and hadnt seen him which was great then all of a sudden he appeared tryed to not notice him and show him I was having fun...didnt work we ended up leaving togther to "talk" another arguement outside the club lots of tears cuddleing and some kissing he couldn walk away and leave me we have decided to meet on thursday apprently and talk then so hope we do...its defo over now tho :(
xx
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