Have i left it too late??

[FayglexXx]

Hey girls

Ive been having a long think about various wedding plans this week, and i want your advice on something. As some of you may know, im having 6 bridesmaids, my sister, my oh's sister, my cousin and my 3 best friends. The problem is, one of my 'best friends' and me arent as close anymore, its happened gradually now that i look back on it. We lived together at college and then afterwards i went off to oz and am now all over the place with OH and she went back to her home town. To start off with, we stayed really close, phoning all the time, meeting up etc etc, but shes had a bad time over the years, string of bad boyfriend choices, she got pregnant by one of them and now has a gorgeous little boy, however now finds it very hard. Looking back, its got to the point where i only ever hear from her after one of the bad break ups, and dont get me wrong, my friends mean the world to me, and im there for any of them when ever im needed. But this has gone on for about 2 years now..... I think when me and oh first got engaged, i was so swept up in the excitement of it all that when i rang her to tell her, it just sort of came out...'will you be a bridesmaid'?! She was initially really excited about it, but since has shown hardly any interest at all. One of my other best friends whos my maid of honour, has gone out of her way to arrange a big weekend away for 14 of us for my hen do, and ive recently found out that this other friend told her she was coming but has not paid the deposit, or responded to any of the emails that my maid of hour has sent around about planning things for the weekend. Also, all the bridesmaids, including her initially, offered to pay half for their dresses, all of whome have except for her. I let it go as i know she struggles sometimes with her little boy etc, but constantly see her facebook status updated with stories of 'great nights out'!!I guess the main question going round in my head is do i really want her to be up there with me on most important day of my life? next to my friends and family who have helped me with this year, being away from my oh?? or have i left it too late??

Sorry this is a rambling message, but i needed to write it all down and i know if anyone can give me some impartial advice its you girlies!!

xxxx

[daisygirl]

Thats a tough one hun, but at the end of the day it's your specail day and if you dont want her as a bridesmaid then its up to you!! Dont feel as if she has to be one!

IF they offered to pay then she should still pay, even if she does it in installments or something. Talking about money with friends can be hard but im guessing you'll be forking out quite a lot for the wedding and it could cause bad feelings among the other bridesmaids if she doesnt pay towards the dress when they all have. (im not really helping am I lol)

Speak to your OH and see what he thinks, and if you dont want her standing up there with you on your big day just tell her
xxx

[sammy jayne]

Im with beth hun you should speak to your oh but at the end of the day its your big day and you want it to be perfect so if you dont want her to be bridesmaid then you shouldnt leave it any longer just bite the bullet so to speak and tell her

[gg1207]

Nothing is too late when it comes to your wedding hun!!!!!!

My sister had this same problem, a good friend she thought, but when it came down to it she actually found out she wasnt as good a friend as she though (like your story). She told her she didnt want her to be a bridesmaid, and on the day she was soo relieved she had told her!

This is YOUR day and you dont wanna look back at it and think 'i wish i had just told her, but didnt wanna hurt her feelings' this is one day when its all about YOU!! (....oh and hubby to be lol)

x

[Emzy]

i agree with the girls hun. i'm getting married in june and the girl i was gonna have as maid of honour started acting like a complete bitch. she was selfish and said things about me and my oh behind my back to my other friends. she owes me £300 which shes owed me for about a year. last year i told her i didnt want her as maid of honour and it was the best choice i ever made. u only get one day hun and its hard to make these choices but you gotta do whats gonna make you happy otherwise u'll regret it.

my situation was slightly different, and at first she took it really well, but then her behaviour became worse and we havent spoken since just before xmas, but thats down to other reasons.

hope it all works out for you hun xxx

[PrincesSarah]

Maybe ask her if she really wants to be a bridesmaid, and say you really don't mind if she doesn't have the time (to get measured up for a dress) or money (for the dress lol) and you'd still love her to come... you never know, she just might not no how to tell you she doesn't want to do it! xxx