View Full Version : Not quite a WAG!
Hello ladies,
Okay, so this whole dating military men thing is new to me! I'm not a WAG but I met a Marine a couple of months ago. His work schedule has been mad and we've only been out twice. I really like him and I think he likes me too. I think he is honest with me and I believe him when he tells me he is working.... but my friends tell me that twice in 2 months is ridiculous and I should forget it cause he can't be that bothered! I don't know what to make of this whole thing! I guess my question is, is that what is like dating forces men? Loads of time apart?
Thank you xx
To be honest, when you are with someone in the forces, time together can be few and far between... twice in 2 months isn't very much, but then again, as you are, so far, 'casually' dating I guess he probably see's his family and friends when he's not working most of the time.
Do you txt/call eachother much? If you want to see him more, maybe just send him a cheeky txt asking when you'll see him again xxx
when i first got with my OH he was posted in northern ireland, he only came back once a month and the only time i got to spend any real time with him was when i went to visit him for a weeks holiday, this was at the start of our relationship aswell. i dont thinks its that odd not seeing him that often, but then mine had a reason to not be bk every weekend lol
wheres he posted? is there anyway of u going to see him?
when i told my fiends what my OH did for a living i was told i was "very brave" for dating him, still not quite sure what they ment by that, neva asked them lol.
ive been with my OH for a year and a half now, i think dating military men can be hard sometimes, i often call him my weekend boyfriend :p but i think its all about give and take, i apprechiate he has to work so cant always call me or see me. but when u do see each other u learn to cherish it, well i know i do. :D
sometimes the distance can be hard to deal with but after a while you get used to it.
me and my OH tlk and text each other every couple of days.
xx
Yes it is very early days! He's about an hour and a half away, so not so far. From what he tells me, he hasn't even seen his friends or family much and has been on camp nearly every night. He was really in touch but then a couple of weeks ago they told him they might send him away sooner than planned and since then it's cooled down. He said he'd let me know what was happening when he knew cause it wasn't fair on me otherwise. I drop him the odd text to say hi but I think he prob needs to come to me. To be fair to him, I suppose he is just putting his cards on the table and it's a case of time will tell. He'll come back if he wants to.
I said the same thing about being brave to a wag I met in a pub once. I didn't understand how she could cope with her man going away to war. Now I think it's prob more about accepting that is their job, trust, making sure you have your own life and making the most of the time you do have. But I can't imagine it's easy!
xx
oh hunni bless ya,
me and my OH not been togther that long before he got posted to germany in jan.
but i had my own life before i met him ie job money etc, and when he comes back from leave nothing changes, but when he is back we make each min count. but they do keep busy on the camp at night block jobs etc.
maybe like you said drop him a text to say hi!
xx
Thank you! It's so frustrating cause this man is gorgeous! It's almost like I could have dreamt him up but there is this big catch! It was all him doing the work, talking about what we'd do next time. He told me next few weeks would be manic cause they're doing final exercises or something so that must have been his way of telling me that I prob wouldn't hear from him! aaarrghhh!
Is your fella still in Germany? x
yes babe, he went back fri, but he made sure he left when i went to work!
its not too bad at the mo cos i no hes gone but fri and sat night without him at home was bad..
xx
I hope you don't have to wait too long for him to come back and it's good that he can contact you from Germany. Hope you feel better soon. If I were you, I'd let myself have another night of feeling sad (duvet film and chocolate) and then start being overly active tomorrow! xx
aug babe!
i been sleeping in his dressing gown, how sad am i lol!!!!
but wehave our own lives to lead and i class the army as his job. was gutted when i came home on fri, not cos he had gone lol, but cos he took the toaster with him! cheek of it xx
haha! That made me laugh out loud!!! :)
i had to buy a new one fri, but its the not the same as my old one!!! was not impressed lol. bless him he did take some other bits and bobs from home. he was on bout getting a microwave, so i think il hide that when hes back in aug.
xx
forgot to ask babe, this new man on face book?
xx
Ha! Luckily, I don't think a microwave would fit into his suitcase!! Maybe hide the toastie maker though....! No, he's not on facebook. To be honest, I feel a bit premature discussing it on here cause he is not my boyfriend but I don't know anyone who knows about men in the forces. Well except him, but I reckon it's too early to start bombarding him with my worries by phone or text! just need to be patient x
ahh bless ya!
i would still text him once in a while though, do you know any mutual mates?
xx
heya hun,
being with someone in the forces can be pretty unpredictable, but when you with someone you love it makes it completely worthwhile :)
if you really like this guy continue to see him when you can, and if you decide that its not for you then no shame in that :) xxxxx
I like him enough to be patient and see how it goes. But I'm getting tired of people I know questioning if that's what I want, someone who works away, goes away, can't always see me etc! Thank you for your words, it kind of helps me get my head around it! He was in touch this eve, said he has only had a few hours sleep in the past week but that it finishes in a couple of days and he'll be in touch. I think it will all be okay! I'm gonna have to ask him what they do all day and night! x
Hellooo, I hardly post here but thought I'd chip in here! My boyfriends in the marines and when I first met him I thought "I'm going to marry him!" lol but we only spent about 2 weeks together and then he left for Afghanistan for 6months. It was horrid and all my friends told me I should do my own thing while he was away and forget about him, but I couldn't and didn't want to. Anyway we kept in touch while he was away and last month after 6 looooong months he finally came home. He was totally and completely worth the wait! If you really, really like this bloke and you're prepared to wait around then give him a call and see what the crack is.
My friends all thought I was mental for waiting around for him but I knew as soon as I met him that he wasn't going to be someone I could just forget. It's hard when he goes away but it just makes me appreciate him so much more when he gets home.
Good luck with it!
Thanks Suzie, I like hearing stories like yours! I hope you get married! :) Was he the same as you remembered him?
Well, he's obviously made enough of an impression that I've been doing my military research on sites like this! We'll see, I do like him alot but it's all been so spaced out I'm not commiting myself to anything until we've spent more time together. I worry that I've made him more brilliant and gorgeous in my head than he actually is lol! I'm going with my gut but I barely know the guy! He's going to call me when he finishes his course and think its best we talk about stuff when I see him next x
Ok, I spoke to him and this is what he said 'The time we spent together was great and of course I want to see you again but work is crazy and it's my priority at the moment. I understand if you want to forget it but if not, I'd like to call you when things calm down'
So I've deleted his number and will leave it to him to get in touch. I need to forget about him until then cause otherwise I will drive myself nuts! This is the slowest dating I've ever done!!! x
I take it you replied to his text first to say that you would like to hear from him when things calmed down, else he might think you want to just forget it x x x
Yes! I replied first! I've been very consistent with him the whole time, you come when you can etc so he knows...... but I sit at a desk all day and my mind wanders and I worry and think too much! But deleting the number is a sign of faith! What he says is what he means!x x
Hi All
I just thought I would post on this thread as I am in exactly the same position as Sunshine was a couple of months ago. I have met a nice Naval Officer and we have been on a couple of dates which have gone really well. However I haven't seen him for about a month now as he has been away doing some sort of assessment for his commander exams and clearly has a busy life. He's in touch when he can, usually every couple of days. I think he is interested in me and I'm more than happy to wait but I've never dated anyone in the forces before so I have no idea what's normal & what's not. so I just thought I'd join here and maybe get a bit more information, as and when I need it!
I'm hoping that our relationship will grow but I'm in a holding pattern for now. looking forward to getting to know you all better.
Bex
hi bex welcome to the site!
you'll find all the info you want on here, the ladies are lovely! this site has been a huge help through this tour :D
looking forward to chatting to you
xx
Hiya Bex!
Welcome to wags xxxx
You've definately come to the right place, I'm not a navy wag but know there are quite a few on here that will be able to help you xxx
Apologies for being a bit blunt with my response but I cannot understand anybody who joins a site like this when they are not actually in a relationship with the person ... we've had instances where someone has joined and never even met the bloke in question.
To be with someone in the forces doesnt require "research" or exams, you wouldnt "research" a shoe fitters job while still dating them.
In dating or a relationship their job really shouldnt come into it, when your relationship starts to build more seriously you take a natural interest in their job, but surely not from the get go.
Hey there, welcome to Wags
What does this guy go in the Navy?
xxx
hi all & many thanks for the welcome messages!
I would just like to say that I'm not really interested in navy jobs per se well not any more than I would be if they were a shoe fitter (not that I have ever met a shoe fitter...) I'm just aware that when people are very committed to their careers then it can make things a little more complex, even early on. I'm not looking for a fling, I'm past that stage of my life so before I get too involved with someone else who is in a committed profession I'd like to have an awareness of the potential complications. I'm an anaesthetist BTW and I quite often have to put my work first, that is simply how it is. Anyone I'm with does need to understand that. I'm just trying to get a feel for things. I really hope I haven't offended you Marker, that was not my intention. But if I'm going to seriously consider getting involved with someone who may be away for months at a time I have to think about the long term implications of that decision. So in my case, and maybe this has a lot lot do with my personality or maybe training but I do believe that you should have as much info as possible before making a decision! I do hope you can appreciate where I'm coming from...
My guy, was a diver originally but he's now more focussed on command training. He's currently doing a course at the JSCSC (i think that's the right anacronym) which seems to be going well! Not that i understand too much about it, yet!
Hey
I must admit, I felt a bit premature joining this site when I wasn't in a relationship with the guy. But being in the Forces isn't a job, it's a lifestyle. A shoe fitter would probably go into work at 9, leave at 5.30 and have all his weekends to do as he pleases! And he may never leave the city you met him in! I think research is the wrong word. I wanted to try and understand the lifestyle a bit more. I still see my guy but until he gets back from Afghan and has time off there is no way he can give me the time a relationship would take. Maybe it's different for other men, I don't know. And I suppose there is the argument that if he wanted to he would make the time but as far as he is concerned I shouldn't have to spend six months wondering if he is coming back. Of course I still will, but to a lesser degree than if we spent 6 months wrapped up in eachother before he went!
Hope yours goes well Bex xxx
I'm sorry but how many accounts do you have on this site??? I cant keep up!!!
i am not offended at all, I just find your approach very very strange, surely if you were in love with someone or about to embark on a relationship their occupation and the rigmarolls around that would be last thing on you mind. Who weighs up the pros and cons .... who does that???
Being with someone in the forces is what you make of it, in our household it is his job, nothing more, we have the opportunity to move around and long lonely tours, hasnt changed a thing though, its a direction in life.
Firstly, Welcome to the site and hello
Yes you are correct it is a lifestyle and not just a job there job will always come first not by choice though that's just how the Army works and someone that does not think this are very blinded by it all. Anyone is entitled to join a forum that's what there for to ask for advice get to know a little about what your about to get involved in.
My considerations are to a large extent practical and in not small part to do with my lifestyle. I am not free to move around at will and I am have considerble work commitments. This essentialy means that I can't even be flexible around which weekends I work or don't. So, if I had arranged to see my guy on the only weekend he was free in a month but I was on call or rostered on then I can't change that. I can be in theatre for very long hours and sometimes very late at night and it can be very emotionally & physically draining.
As for love... well to a degree you can choose whether or not to fall in love. If there are simply too many practical barriers then if you walk away early enought there is limited hurt on both sides. I wouldn't want to lead this person on and in a way he has to also decide if he can live with my career demands and the consequences of those. I have no idea if he talks to his mates about me but being a woman I like to talk and given that people here have partners in the forces I thought it would be a good place to look....
However, I would consider myself in a relationship with him, although not a serious one yet!
Bex
Yes you are correct it is a lifestyle and not just a job there job will always come first not by choice though that's just how the Army works and someone that does not think this are very blinded by it all. Anyone is entitled to join a forum that's what there for to ask for advice get to know a little about what your about to get involved in.
There has been a poll on this before whether works comes first and the general feeling was no it doesnt, family came first. Work to live, not live to work. It is JUST a job, one that opens your eyes up to the world and gives you amazing experiences but a job nonetheless.
Maybe it depends on the role or rank or level of responsibility in the forces? I dunno, my guy is married to his job for the next year but he is very commited and it's prob partly his choice. But I think it's a wise woman who weighs up the pros and cons because, from what I have read on the site, lots of the things you ladies deal with cannot be easy and I think must take a lot of understanding and patience. Yes love is love but there comes a stage where you need to consider practicalities and whether the lifestyle/job will make you happy long term. x
Dear All
I was just wondering if it is normal to go for 10/12 weeks without seeing your man? I haven't seen him fr about 6 weeks now due to course assessments and now he's being deployed for a further 5 weeks. Due to out clashing timetables we're not able to see each other before he goes away. I also wanted to ask about communication while they are away, he's suggested email, is this fairly reliable?
Thanks
why dont you use either bex or sunshine as your username?
I am Bex... Sunshine is a totally different person!!!!!!!!
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