View Full Version : Cant stop thinking about him!!!!
Me and the OH broke up 4 weeks ago after i caught him coming onto his best mates cousin and he told me i was paranoid and now hes in a relationship with her. I saw them out the other week and it hits home and now i dream about him every night, hes always on my mind. the anger has subsided and now im feeling it. any advice?
aw hunni i dont know what i can say i find just gettin myself busy and jsut pushing everything to the back of my mind works well but its diffrent with every 1 all i can really say is if u need to talk iam here hugs
All I can say really is keep on doing what you're doing. At four weeks it's still going to hurt but if you stay strong then I promise that there will come a day, probably sooner than you think, when you'll feel "hey, I don't feel like feeling this way anymore." I finished with my ex last summer and although I was disappointed and sort of numb, I knew that it was the best thing all round in the long run. I knew this because it was the second time we'd split up - the first being in January last year. The January incident was a different story altogether. Between you, me and gatepost, I was a total mess. Ever cried until you physically threw up? You didn't think that was possible, did you? :o So I think I cried non-stop for a month, puked, puked some more, drunk myself into oblivion, he would haunt my dreams .... all in all not a pretty sight.
Eventually I thought "sod you, Christopher, you're not going to do this to me anymore," helped by the following advice and tips:
1) No contact with him for 60 days, 90 if you can manage it. If you have contact there, whilst the initial pain is still raw you'll be looking for glimmers of hope in there - which will only set you back.
2) A good friend or family member you can trust and confide in - my dad saved me from going completely bats, I think.
3) Make time for yourself to do things you really want to, and throw yourself into work or other commitments.
4) Put on your favourite CD and sing along at the top of your lungs - in a funny voice works as well. I'd forgotten what it felt like to laugh.
5) I made a bit of a funeral where I wrote down how I felt about everything, and then tore it all up (I was going to bury it in the back garden but it was raining out!)
6) Think of all the positive new directions that your life could move in.
Hope this helps and that you feel better soon.
Four weeks isn't long, and it would probably be more unusual if you had gotten over him already. It's really painful to lose some one, but even worse when they have already moved on to some one else.
I used to dream about my ex loads- I would make it through the day just putting him and the break up to the back of my mind... but at night I guess that's when I would let it all out and think about him and dream about him... but it's mostly stopped now.
You know in your heart you deserve better, so just keep telling yourself that you will never settle for him... time is a healer- I know it's a cliché, but it's true. In another 4 weeks time you will be feeling better, then another 4 weeks even better and so on until you will be wondering why you ever felt this way.
Just take each day as it comes, and look after number one! xxx
The other girls have given you fab advice, its that old cliche "times the greatest healer" you need to discover yourself again as sometimes when in a relationship its easy to mold into one person and become a "couple" instead of two individuals... go out get your hair done, do some retail therapy try out a new look then grab some of you girlfriends and have a girly night although this wont be a fix too your heartache it will be the first step to getting there ... hope you feel happier soon xxxxxxxxxx
So, if I may summarise:
He made a pass at another girl while he was with you, called you paranoid but then proved your suspicions to be correct by now going out with this girl....
STEP AWAY FROM THE FCUKWIT!!!!!
You deserve better. And four weeks is not long - give yourself time to heal.
ooo hun the girls have given you some fab advice here! i know its hard but it does get better! i struggled to start with but i find making plans and having something to aim towards helps me.....even if its just coffee with a friend! big hugs x x
I would change his number in your phone to one of your mates so when u want to text him you dont have his number. Even if you get really upset/angry and text he wont get it.
I changed my mates ex's number to my in her phone. She never noticed. I got loads of texts and phone calls which she sent him non the wiser he never got them I was just deleating them. After weeks of him not replying they started to get less often and then gave up...
Now happy with someone else expecting a baby... All good.
Sometimes you just need to let yourself feel rubbish before you can start feeling better and it takes time. After rubbish ex I didn't stop crying for about 2 months (honestly, sat in work, my eyes dripping!) but I came out the other end and I'm happier now than I was before. I made alot of changes after - new job, new flat, new hobby - and I felt cleansed of him!!! My best therapy was watching all six series of sex and the city in about two weeks! I'd def reccomend it!!
Arghh hun big hug...I miss james every day babe and i think about him all the time too! Its normal too miss people babe and i really do hope it gets better babe just be strong and have fun with the girls as thats all iv been doing is going out and having a laugh!! I dream about james every night too hun what u are feeling is so normal babe it takes time to get over someone you love...were always here for u hun just think bout positives things that are in your life right now babe and you show him what he is missing becuase one day these men will wake up and think why the hell did i let her go They are the ones that we regret leaving us and we will be strong and over it!! xx
My best therapy was watching all six series of sex and the city in about two weeks! I'd def reccomend it!!
I actually did that!! :D xxx
Sex in the City is my bible if anyone can help you get over a ****wit those girls can... and hon at the end of the day it his loss, watch at least a series of Sex in the City buy some new shoes and go and show them off, before you know it you'll be over him and moving to bigger and better things x
awwww hun. as the others have said, you've already got some good advice on here. 9 months ago, my hubby and i split up after 8 years together. i know exactly what mustntgrumble means about crying till you throw up!!! give it time, it really does get eaiser. be aware that you will go through ups and downs. the downs are completely normal and they do get further and further apart till they eventually stop. big huge hugs!!!! xxx
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