Cookie
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Hope this is ok but be warned they are rude!
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."
The boss had to lay off one of his staff, and he narrowed it down to one of two people: Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both great workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler.
The next morning he sits watching the water cooler. Debra arrives with a horrible hangover after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said "Debra I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack Off"
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like **** this morning."
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who could not think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she had.
“Well then," said the attendant, "you go tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, ask your mother to explain that to you."
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."
The boss had to lay off one of his staff, and he narrowed it down to one of two people: Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both great workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler.
The next morning he sits watching the water cooler. Debra arrives with a horrible hangover after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said "Debra I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack Off"
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like **** this morning."
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who could not think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she had.
“Well then," said the attendant, "you go tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, ask your mother to explain that to you."