View Full Version : its over
Hi all well paris was lovely but i got home and it all started. We are now over so I am no longer a wag. I made the decision. I wasnt having him in my life no more. He was aggressive and possesive and a waste of my time. I am sad and distraught but it topped it off when he threatened to throw me down the stairs. ******. I finally get my internet back tomorrow and I am hoping you guys can help me get through this. I am not having a man like that in mine or my daughters life. We both deserve better.
So Sorry to hear that hun, can't believe he threatened to throw you down the stairs that is just horrible!!!... Please keep coming on :)
Awww hun hugz!! you've deff done the right thing for both you and your daughter you dont need someone like that in your lives. .. cant believe he threatend to do that!! stay strong hun we will all be here to offer our support xxxxxxxxx
OMG!!! Was looking at ur pics the other day from Paris and was thinkin how happy you both looked!
You're right though, neither you or your daughter needs someone who is violent and aggressive in your lives, its just not fair.
((((big hugz)))) tho hun, stick with us wags and we'll definately help you thru. Chin up chick xxxxx
Thanks you guys. I currently cant stop crying and my daughter keeps asking where he is and saying stop crying mummy and hugging me. I never want to see that twat again. He called me fat on my birthday this whole leave has never been in and I am sick of it. He told me he doesnt care and blah blah.
Oh no hon, had no idea! You seemed so happy before - though if he's become violent and aggressive then you're well out of it!
Big big hugs hon. And stick around as well!
xxx
Sorry to hear that hun but well done for doing right by you and your daughter. You're right, you do deserve better! *hugs*
xxx
Sorry to hear you've split hun! We're all here for you, so keep coming on and we'll cheer you up!
x
hun, big big hugs.. firstly well done you for walking away, i know it hurts like hell and how hard it is to do it but thats a massive thing. im here if you need to talk as you know have been through the same very recently... dont give him the satisfaction of your tears hun... he doesnt deserve you and there are sooo many men out there that wouldnt dream of threatening a woman xxxx
no way sheryl, i can't believe that has happened. but u have made a good decision in kicking him out. that isn't a safe situation to be in. u know we will all be here so u can talk xxxxxxxxx
OMG........sheryl, im soooo shocked :eek:
i was thinking about you the other day as i noticed you hadnt been on here for a while.
(((huge hugs))) to you and amelie.
the girls are right you both deserve better wot a utter to$$er
it will get better in time and you have your beautiful girl, who will keep you strong and focused :)
i cannot believe he threatened to throw you down the stairs :mad:, and to call you fat......WTF??????
you are a gorgeous young woman with your whole life ahead of you....
you will find your prince ;)
chin up hunni
x x x
oh wow, what a shocker! Hope you are as well as you can be and you are obviously just so much better off without him.
xxx
Can't believe that Sheryl!!!
Hope you're ok! But like the girls say you sound like you are definitely better off without him, you're daughter too!
Hugs!
xxx
Aww sweetie im so sorry youve been going through a rubbish time :( we're always gunna be here for you. Hope you and you're gorge lil girl are ok.
Big hugs
xxx
:eek::eek::eek: Oh my huni, sooo sorry to hear you had a crap time with him. all the girls are right and you will be better off without him. U will find someone who will love u as much as u love them. they will want to protect u and make u happy, not call you names and threaten u. I am sending u good thoughts huni, and we're all here for you (((HUGS))))xxxxx
Huge hugs hun. I'm so sorry to hear this, but as all of the girls have already said...you do not need someone like that in your life, and both you and your daughter will be much better off without him in the long run. Him threatening to throw you downstairs and being verbally abusive to you, calling you names, is completely out of order, and absolutely disgusting behaviour. It's all about you and your beautiful daughter now...we will look after you, and we're always here for you. Stay strong, you will be ok hun xxx
Hi Hun that is a horrible thing to happen hope you and your daughter will be ok now and hope you find someone you deserve x
Hey Hun!!
Omg, I was so shocked wen i saw this thread and ur relationship status on facebook!!!
But after reading what he is like no wonder you are, what a brave choice you had to make and i am so happy that you wouldnt stay with someone like that neither you or your daughter need a man like that in your life!!
How can he say all them nasty things your stunning babe and in no way fat at all!!!
we will all be here to help you through it babe, wen u get ur internet back drop me a email on facebook and grap my number
hugs and lots of love
lauryn
xxx
I am not coping well at all. I want him back I hurt so much and my daughter keeps asking for him. The postman comes and she thinks its him. I cant stop crying. For god sake I thought he was going to propose in Paris and I was going to say yes. I dont know how I can not have this man in my life
Oh hon I'm so sorry you're going through this. Really don't know what to say except keep telling yourself that you've done the right thing in the long run for yourself and your daughter - you both may miss him now but you know deep down that it would have been a lot worse if you had stayed together.
Just cut yourself off from him completely - delete his emails, FB and any other way you might hear from or about him and it will start to get easier. And remember that this is all his fault and you've done nothing wrong!
Sorry can't help much, but we are all here for you, big big huge hugs xxxxxxxx
It my fault though. I lost it AGAIN. He done nothing wrong when I told him to go. It was only when I threw something to him which hit him by accident that he threatened to throw me down the stairs.
I'm sorry but no-one should ever threaten to throw you down the stairs because of something that happened by accident. And it sounds as if he did plenty else to hurt you as well, calling you names etc. If he has that much of a short temper it would have eventually impacted upon your daughter and you don't want to risk something happening to her as well.
How did he take it when you ended things?
xxx
just left got his stuff and went. I have told him its over so may times when I have been unstable and I lost it again. I reget is now. He done in to hurt me I know him so well. He was so good with my daughter. He was all I could of asked for with her
I wasnt having him in my life no more. He was aggressive and possesive and a waste of my time. I am sad and distraught but it topped it off when he threatened to throw me down the stairs. I am not having a man like that in mine or my daughters life. We both deserve better.
Just read that- those are your words.
I think the way you are feeling now is natural. I know it feels scary and horrible and you are wondering if you did the right thing, but it is just reality is setting in that it really is over and things are not going to be the same from now on, but don't panic. Have a good cry and let it all out.
I know you will be going over everything that happened over and over again, but at the end of the day you made the decision to leave him because you believed it was the best thing for you and your daughter. That's not a decision you made lightly, and even if you are questioning it now, just re-read what you wrote. It was the right decision. xxx
Seriously I know he would hurt me or my daughter. I havent been taking my medication to calm me down and now I am the one that is paying as well as my daughter. My god. This isnt the first time I have done something like this. I dont even know why I lost it and told him to leave he didnt do anything.
why are u taking medication? x
Sorry your going through this hun. Ive been there and its horrible when things seem brilliant and all of a sudden it comes crashing down but you can pull yourself out of it. Just takes time and everything. Keep coming on we are all here, wags and ex wags, to help you get through it.
Take care
Lisa xxx
Hi all well paris was lovely but i got home and it all started. We are now over so I am no longer a wag. I made the decision. I wasnt having him in my life no more. He was aggressive and possesive and a waste of my time. I am sad and distraught but it topped it off when he threatened to throw me down the stairs. ******. I finally get my internet back tomorrow and I am hoping you guys can help me get through this. I am not having a man like that in mine or my daughters life. We both deserve better.
OMG hun, no you shouldnt put up with that and you have done the right choice. your daughter should be with someone like that either. i hope you are okay. anytime you need to talk im here. xxx
My god. This isnt the first time I have done something like this. I dont even know why I lost it and told him to leave he didnt do anything.
Babe, he threatened to throw you down the stairs :( Are you willing to stick at this relationship until he does do something?:o
Do you really want your little girl being witness to this sort of aggressive behaviour, and in later life thinking that if its alright for her mum then it alright for her too?
Hey hun - i think you are trying to find things to pin the blame on and at the mo it seems to be yourself. It is not your fault that you reacted to his threat of throwing you down the stairs the way you did. It also has nothing to do with you taking or not taking meds. If someone threatens you in anyway then your immediate reaction would have been to protect yourself and your little girl by telling him to leave.
plus if you were slightly 'unstable' (which i think is completely untrue you prob just a little stressed from juggling being a mum and a wag) then he would know this and not have threatened you in the first place sweetie.
This is not your fault.
Hope you are ok and we are all here if you need us xxx
he come round yesterday mornin and we are going to see how things go. We both made a list of the things we want from this relationship and we are going to try to understand each other a little bit more and have some more personal time as well as time apart. I think what done it for him was he felt he had no him time and I felt we werent spending time just us it was either with my daughter or me on my own. I know what you will all think and my family and friends feel the same. My mum well dunno what will happen there she has found out and isnt happy at all.
Just caught up on the recent posts, i think you girls are being really judgemental to this guy! We've all said things in arguments that we regret afterwards and by the sounds of it, it was just an angry comment.
By the sounds of it hun, you need abit of help with your anger, as that seemed to have sparked his threat. I hope you two can build and work on your relationship, your family and friends will understand once things have settled.
Hope your ok!
x
Just caught up on the recent posts, i think you girls are being really judgemental to this guy! We've all said things in arguments that we regret afterwards and by the sounds of it, it was just an angry comment.
By the sounds of it hun, you need abit of help with your anger, as that seemed to have sparked his threat. I hope you two can build and work on your relationship, your family and friends will understand once things have settled.
Hope your ok!
x
Thank you so much you are the only person that can now see my point of view. When we split I was angry and said alsorts to try and make myself hate him so I didnt hurt but now it has made me feel 10x worse and EVERYONE is judging me. Yeah he gets angry and so can I I show mine in words though he does it in temper and we are both going to try sort it out. I just hope that at some point everyone can understand. My mum has told me she wants nothing to do with him she doesnt want him anywhere near her house or around her at any point. How can that work. My mum is my best friend. I feel everything is just such a mess and I dont know how to deal with it.
Dont worry about your family hun, if he really is a good guy then your family will see that and start to trust him again. At the moment they've heard this story and are now looking out for you, its because they care hun.
Its easy to make someone sound like the devil because its a one-sided story, just be careful in the future telling your family bout arguments, as it can then get blown out of propertion and make things worse.
You need to work on both your tempers too hun
x
My family and friends hae neer liked him they tell me he isnt good enough for me. It hurts when they say this. I mean I know he aint the most gorg of guys and has a different sense of humour etc to my family but well. He makes me smile and I loe him surely thats all that matters? My mum has told me she doesnt want to be picking up the pieces again. Yeah we have our arguements and ours maybe seem a little worse than others but I know that it only seems like that because I am such an emotional person. I hae been to the docs to see how to deal with that and see refered me to see someone but I didnt get on well with the woman and stopped going. I found her patronising and she is the only woman here that does the treatment I was getting.
Hi hon it really does sound like you both need to take a step back as you said - give each other some space and work on your tempers. And if you do need to get help then you should be able to find someone who you get on with - there are also a lot of alternative enmotional therapies out there so maybe do some research.
As gg said it's easy to make out like he's the bad guy and anyone who doesn't know him like you do will agree with you. If you really think deep down that the two of you will work together then by all means go for it, and if it works and you are happy together again then your friends and family should come around in time.
We won't judge you hon, just want to make sure you're ok.
xxx
hun
Im sorry and im sorry if this sounds really harsh but i have to say it.
please please please walk away. i have recently been there and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. yes you to may of had an argument, and you may of started it with anger but threatening to throw you down the stairs is soo not on. i read your entire posts on this thread and you sound so much like i was, making excuses saying it was your fault etc... my bro was like your mum by the sounds of it and he refused to speak to my OH or be in same room as him for 3 years.. i kept telling my bro he wasnt bad and it was my fault we argued etc but my bro stuck to his guns but let me carry on.. i even sent my bro a message saying how much my bloke had changed and could he give him another chance, he did but told me after how he was never giving him a go he was just stepping back and letting me see for myself that he wasnt the one for me.
my recent ex threatened to throw me down the stairs once.. three years later he broke my collarbone and strangled me till i passed out.. honestly babe, walk away now... i know you love him but unless he gets help for his anger it wont and cant change. its been very much proven that it just gets worse without help.
honestly hun i know you dont want to leave him (believe me i didnt think i could) and we can all tell you a hundred times but you need to realise yourself.. someone that truly truly loves you wouldnt threaten to throw you down stairs or call you fat etc however much you angered them. it is abuse hun.
Kate-marie (from here) was always warning me to walk away (just after threats) and i never listened but i reaaly wished i had!
Im sorry if this comes across as harsh but im worried about you i really am
big big hugs...
PS - BUT - if there is a genuine threat of violence there and it's not just short tempers then definitely don't give him even the slightest chance to hurt you or your little girl.
Hope you manage to work it out
xxx
It's a difficult one hun and dont think anyone on here is trying to judge as such as we dont know either of you personally or seen the situation first hand, just trying to help. Only the two of you know how much you can tolerate of it but from reading your previous posts (plenty of fish probs, going to a theme park with mates on his daughters bday, constant nasty comments etc) it sounds like this is an ongoing problem hun. If you decide to stay together I hope you can both get the help you need to make things work and be happy xxxx
I am not judging anyone. I don't know you, your daughter or your man. What I do know is abuse and abusive relationships. In abusive relationships men make you feel like you are crazy (read emotional) to act the way you do. "Honey, I wouldn't get so angry at you if you didn't...." "I love you so much baby, and I wish you would stop .... so I didn't have to get so angry." " I didn't mean to threaten to push you down the stairs, but you really made me angry" They can do no wrong and take no responsibility for their actions, because they wouldn't be that way if you didn't push them/make them/look at other men/have friends they don't like/have an opinion.
Please take a look at this, I hope the link works
http://www.geocities.com/dvic2/wheel.html
The power and control wheel in particular.
I mean it for all of you, not just Sheryl.
And Sheryl, two questions.
1) Would you allow your best friend to treat you the way your OH treats you?
2) What would you say to your daughter (or best friend, or one of us) if she described some of the things in your relationship to you as coming from her boyfriend?
it has been yes. sometimes i just need to rant over silly things. frigging hell i wish things were easy. we both know we love each and want to be together forever. I know you guys dont judge me but my family and friends do. its all my fault GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Please read my post Sheryl. We posted it at the same time and I don't think you saw it.
as i said in my post please stop saying its your fault.. it really really isnt... i will say again.. If a guy honestly truly truly loved you, respected you and cared about you they would not threaten you or call you fat however angry "you made them" or wound them up...even if they tell you constantly they love you, if they threaten to do something or call you names then they dont am sorry.
my bloke asked to try for a baby, and said he wanted to get married.. next day i walked away and guess what.. he never followed/called or anything.. never heard a word from him.. his actions didnt match what he said xxx
sheryl hun,
please,please,please STOP blaming yourself.
it is NOT all your fault
dont know what else to say to you as the girls have said it all. (((huge hugs))) to you both
take care hunni
x x x
Oh my god i would think the same as my mum does and not want it to happen. My oh doesnt do any of those things. he dont blame in on me or anyone else
He has taken full responsibility for his actions as did i thats why we sat down and wrote a letter to each other explaining what we both want
It might not be my place to say anything, but please listen to me. I'm with the majority on here - the man who loves you doesn't threaten to throw you down the stairs.
It's not just that though. The whole plentyoffish thing - what was that all about? Plenty of fish is a dating site - on the front page on there it even says in big letters: "We are the dating site your friends talk about." It goes on: "Our members will go on over 18,000,000 dates with other users this year," and "After taking our chemistry test we match you with personalities that lead to long lasting stable relationships." You found out he was using it behind your back, then he came out with some rubbish that he was on there for social purposes, then he had to sign up to armywags, spending a good few hours (he was on here longer than I was) checking up on you and what you'd been writing.
You say he called you fat. On your birthday. Is this the man you love? Is this the man who'd do anything for you and values your feelings above anyone else's? Namecalling. Is that the best he can do? I hope it made him feel better.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not fall into the trap of thinking "he did a nice thing once, so therefore he must be in love with me." There are plenty men out there who will be nice and bring in little sweeteners every now and then so that you'll think exactly that.
Also, don't you dare shift the blame onto yourself. Yes, you might have got angry, yes you might have lost your temper which you might be sorry about now. But you might also have had good reason to be angry. I'm sure he didn't have a good reason to threaten to hurt you. It takes two to tango and you can't tell me that what happened was all your fault.
I agree, suppose he had gone ahead and pushed you down the stairs and it went to court... would they let him off because you had wound him up? No.
He is a grown man AND supposedly loves you- he should be able to control his temper- and even if he can't threatening to hurt some one you love is unreasonable behaviour xxx
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