Feeling poo today

[waiting]

I have been remembering this time last year a lot lately. I remember how excited and hopeful I was. He had made it out of the desert and was just about on his way back to me. And he never came. And I still hate him.

I don't think about him every day anymore (usually) and I have stopped having conversations in my head with him (mostly) and I thought I was doing good with moving on with the rest of my life.

But the last week or so I can't stop. I hate it. I'm angry with him for the way he did things. I'm angry with me for being still hung up on him after a year. And I should know better.

This used ot be my favourite time of year, and it's my birthday soon, and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

[clarew76]

aww jen im so sorry. i didnt know :(
i didnt join the forum till november last year.
(((((huge hugs))))) to you hun.
im sure your just feeling like this because it the "anniversary" of the event.
its normal for you to feel angry @ him, after all you waited for him & for him to just not come to you must have been devistating (ba$tard :mad:)
did he ever contact you at all after or just leave you out to dry?

you have come so far & with time this will heal babe, honestly :).
i went thro a bad break up with my ex & 2 years on i still have my moments (not very often). i was literally left holding the baby & he absolutely devistated me.
but ive got a great guy now & i could actually thank him for what he did.
you deserve better than this man anyway.
hope this helps.
take care hun
loadsa luv
clare
x x x

[Kate90]

aww, this made me feel so sad when i read this! why didnt he come back to u? did he give u reasons? or was there someone else?
Its ok to still think abt people even when u hav moved on, sometimes it can seem like ur taking a step backwards, but sumtimes u need to take a step back before u can set urself free to move forward!
It is positive that u dnt think abt him everyday anymore and that - it shows there is progression. u really should take some time to treat urself and pamper urself over ur birthday - just focus on urself for a bit.xx

[gg1207]

Aww hun big hugs!!!! He was a complete w.anker!!!

Have you ever heard from him since?

x

[waiting]

It was strange, the way he handled it, and I don't know the reason why. That's part of the problem. End of September last year he said he was coming to see me near the end of October. Then I didn't hear from him for about four weeks, two of which he was on some stupid adventure course(so he said). But when I didn't her from him when he got back, I got angry and frustrated with him, and told him I couldn't do this anymore because he wasn't talking to me or telling me an exact date. He replied with "For the best. This has been way too over the top, made me hugely uncomfortable. Take care, but don't contact me again."

And that was it. Still has me seeing red, even now. The man, who is not afraid to go into the desert and get shot at, cannot tell me what happened. Couldn't even say anything to my face. Just one line in a facebook message.

[clarew76]

oh hun.
thats $hite! how long were you together?
hope your feeling a little better today tho :)
chin up babe
x x x

[Louweasel]

Ooh it makes me so angry hearing how he messed you about Jen. Such emotional fcukwittage!!
Hope you feel better today xxx