carly
,
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him
> >
> > "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
> >
> > "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
> >
> > "There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
> >
> > and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
> >
> > It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and
> > better than a doctor and you get Club Card points".
> >
> > So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
> >
> > He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
> > urine sample.
> >
> > He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the
> > computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow.
> > Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve
> > in
> > two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Tesco ".
> >
> > That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> > began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
> > water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
> > daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> > Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
> > deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> > The computer prints the following:
> >
> > 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> > 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
> > 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> > 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> > 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> > get better........
> >
> > Thank you for shopping at Tesco.
> >
> > "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
> >
> > "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
> >
> > "There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
> >
> > and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
> >
> > It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and
> > better than a doctor and you get Club Card points".
> >
> > So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
> >
> > He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
> > urine sample.
> >
> > He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the
> > computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow.
> > Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve
> > in
> > two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Tesco ".
> >
> > That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> > began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
> > water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
> > daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> > Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
> > deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> > The computer prints the following:
> >
> > 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> > 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
> > 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> > 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> > 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> > get better........
> >
> > Thank you for shopping at Tesco.