View Full Version : new and in need of support
hello all
New Navy gf and tonight im feeling like utter pants! ive seen this site and only tonight (becuase of my mood) im reaching out
OH has gone back after summer leave, my bed which feels empty without him is horrid, how the hell am i going to deal with him going on deployment next year?
we live in different area's so live apart other than weekends when he pops over.
i have a few good friends but none of them have partners in the navy/forces.
im 30 and independant, happy go lucky, no kids (yet) and i normally can cope, but for some reason im really struggling? not living near portsmouth is starting to get to me. However i cant move at the moment and if my career continues i will be staying put for another 5 years.
BOLLOCKS!!! * she mutters under her breath*
cant bloody sleep and all i want is him by my side. i feel as if nobody close to me understands the sheer frustration i feel!
any like minded mature lady's in the same boat ( excuse the punt) who can offer me help! - anyone awake? ( cant sleep and its 4am!)
cheers!
Welcome!!
I think we all feel like this from time to time!! And we're allowed to! Let yourself have a (brief :)) wallow and a bit of a cry and then you'll pick yourself up and carry on.
I'm married to mine now (RAF) but I hated being in the same country as him but not being able to see him, it was so frustrating. I was so settled where I was totally independent, good job, flat, car etc. And then he came along and all I wanted was to be with him! So we got married after 6 months and 16 months later I'm 6 months pregnant and happy as I could ever be :D.
I'm lucky, hubby's deployments last no longer than 3 months at the moment (although he's away quite a lot :rolleyes:) but I PROMISE you will get through it. There are tonnes of tips on here and ALWAYS someone who's OH is deployed you can countdown with.
Is there absolutely no way you could relocate nearer to him? Or would it totally put your career on hold?
This is a great place to share your down and your up moments. Keep posting and I hope you feel better soon.
xxx
Hey hun
Well, first of all, rather belated welcome to wags... I see you signed up in February last year! Glad you've finally decided to join in. :) Not so great to hear that the reason for this is the way you're feeling. :( But that's what we're here for.
I think a lot of us get this when we've been spending pretty much 24/7 with our OHs and then they leave... wherever that is to. Give yourself a few days to readjust and get back into the swing of things and hopefully you'll be feeling better. And don't worry about next year, that's next year and we'll help you get through it.
In the mean time, tell us all a bit about yourself. What do you do? How did you meet your OH? How long have you been together? What does he do? That sort of thing...
xxx
Welcome to wags hun. We all have hard days and that is fine. You came to the right place as all the girls on here are so supportive and great.
So tell us a bit more about yourself and hope you will be posting loads more on here now :) xx
I spent 18 months living apart from my Husband, the positives of being in a fixed area are that at least you have friends (and in my case family around you).
I always find "thinking" about deployment is worse than actually going through it as you convince yourself its going to be awful so try not to worry too much, as someone once said you cope because you have too.
I have always fought to retain my independence despite being an "Army wife" and have never compromised on following my career path through or giving anything up, when I do it is always for my good rather than just to blindly follow Richard. I am lucky in that I am a civil servant and the money they have spent training me makes it that much easier for me to t/x and keep the same job role.
I admire anybody fighting for their independence but if it is getting you down sometimes it is worth considering a lateral move (or temporary) step down from your career to make sure you are happy. I found that when Richie and I lived apart I spent far more time than I do now accepting the easy life so it didn't interfere with my time with him.
How far away are you based from Portsmouth?
Just wanted to say welcome to wags hun.
xxx
thanks so much for the support...waking up and reading the messages was great!
as requested...
we have known each other for bloody ages and got back together after 12 years of no contact... the rest is history, we have so much in common and i feel very happy with him.
i work in the pubic sector and love my job, however jobs are tough to come by and i dont want to relocate and lose the support i have with my co-workers. even though they dont fully understand my situation, they do offer a ear and a large bottle of wine :)
my family are all over the place, not local to me. so friends are really important and the team i work in is just wonderful, im pushing for promotion and if i get it i will be re-training which leaves me where i am for at least 3-5 years.
half of me thinks, sod it my career is important, the other half of me wants to be his wife, create a happy home together and see him everynight, bake cookies and have babies! lol;)
i think i can accept when he is away ( next year will be the first deployment for us as a couple) but when im 2 hours distance by car it frustrates me that we are apart.
the practical side of things is that even though its a 4 hour "there and back" journey its the cost of petrol, stuck in traffic... all that rubbish that makes it a royal pain in the arse!
i do worry that if i move to portsmouth i will be isolated all over again!
is it very "click" groups of wives and gf of the royal navy?
i am aware being a gf sets you apart from wives
I've never met any "clicky" wives or girlfriends personally. Everyone has always been really friendly towards me......and i'm only a gf :)
My OH is deployed at the moment, and its hard at times but the girls on here are very supportive and it helps just knowing that someone else knows how you feel. I feel like a right div sometimes....i told my OH last night, i think i've forgotten how to kiss?! lol Its so stupid, but being away from your special someone does odd things to you :)
My OH is based in Catterick normally, and i'm in the Midlands so its at least 3 hours on a good day with little to no traffic. I always find going back to being a weekend girlfriend is hard after having him home for a period of time.
Being on camp works for some people, others it doesn't. For us, that wouldn't work. I'd miss my friends and family too much, and i have a good job where i am. Plus, we both have our own houses so it seems pointless to pay 2 mortgages AND pay rent? Everyone is different though, that's just us.
xxx
Hey hun welcome to wags, everyone here is great and here to support you, they're great for helping you whenever you need it! xx
hi girls
hows everyone
i am about to move to catterick anyone there
Hey Fiona
WB! Looks like it's been a while. Why don't you start your own thread hun as I think what you've asked might get missed by a lot of people otherwise.
xxx
hey welcome to wags!!! im a navy gf and oh based in yeovil and im about an hour away in bmouth...so its not to bad for distnace...my oh is also due to go away next year for 7 months...bad times..lol and we have our baby due then aswell, not susre if the navy are gonna co operate and let hikm come home....
it is a hard life but u will get used to it again.. u have had lots of time together for summer then all of a sudden he goes.. its a shock and i still find that hard too...oh is away for 2 months training soon and im worrying about that now.lol but this site is great..ull get all the support u need here.. chin up..xxxx
any like minded mature lady's in the same boat
LOL isn't it a weird forces wag world where we are "mature" at over 25 - I am 32 and feel like people's mum on here at times! :D
I'm a bit like you - been independent with career all through since university and this whole army wag thing rather caught me on the hop. I got together with OH 3 years ago and recently I had to put my foot down and cause a big row about commitment or we would have been living apart forever! We have plans to move together after his next tour but it will mean a significant career compromise for me if I'm honest. I'm in the public sector too. At the mo I am in London where I have lived for ten years, and he is in Chepstow. At least it's better than Germany where he was until last week!
It's slightly different for me as mine is army and so he is only away when he is actualy deployed to war, as opposed to navy where they spend big chunks of time away as a matter of course. I wish I had some answers for you but I guess we just have to hang in there!
I'm not sure I've been v helpful but I am definitely on your side!
Hey Fiona
WB! Looks like it's been a while. Why don't you start your own thread hun as I think what you've asked might get missed by a lot of people otherwise.
xxx
i did but none has talked on it looked at a house yesurday too
Hi sweets
I am a navy wag living in Yeovil, I was very much like you lived in Birmingham had a good job then I met my husband (well he was not my hubby at the time!!) lol.
After we had been together 6 months he proposed to me of course I said yes however I did not think at the time where we would live etc. After discussing when we would get married i decided that I would leave my job, my home my family / friends to move 150 miles away in Yeovil. If I said to you that it wasnt hard it was especially living that far away from my hubby however I decided that to make the marriage work and so that we were not a 'weekend' couple I moved down here. The first few months weren't that brilliant we moved in Married Quarters I had to find a job new friends etc... I would go up Birmingham every other weekend.
We have mow been married nearly 6 years and I have to say that after the initial what the hell am I doing giving all this up I love it down here I would never in a million years move back and I get to see him most nights.
It is hard when you live far apart but it gets easier, also do not be surprised when he goes on deployment that for a few days prior you may argue. my and my hubby seem to argue more and the reason I think it is is because you think that by arguing you wont miss them as much (I know that sounds weird!!). I am not saying that you will get used to it you learn how to deal with them going away better the more you have to do it!
As for the Wives you can get some 'cliques' I found that occassionally when we lived in MQ but overall I would say most of us are down to earth and the best of it is we all have been through the same thing!!!
Hope you are feeling better soon sweets and if ever you do move it you are glad of the peace and quiet when they go away for a few weeks!!!!
Nicki
xx
Hi sweets
I am a navy wag living in Yeovil, I was very much like you lived in Birmingham had a good job then I met my husband (well he was not my hubby at the time!!) lol.
After we had been together 6 months he proposed to me of course I said yes however I did not think at the time where we would live etc. After discussing when we would get married i decided that I would leave my job, my home my family / friends to move 150 miles away in Yeovil. If I said to you that it wasnt hard it was especially living that far away from my hubby however I decided that to make the marriage work and so that we were not a 'weekend' couple I moved down here. The first few months weren't that brilliant we moved in Married Quarters I had to find a job new friends etc... I would go up Birmingham every other weekend.
We have mow been married nearly 6 years and I have to say that after the initial what the hell am I doing giving all this up I love it down here I would never in a million years move back and I get to see him most nights.
It is hard when you live far apart but it gets easier, also do not be surprised when he goes on deployment that for a few days prior you may argue. my and my hubby seem to argue more and the reason I think it is is because you think that by arguing you wont miss them as much (I know that sounds weird!!). I am not saying that you will get used to it you learn how to deal with them going away better the more you have to do it!
As for the Wives you can get some 'cliques' I found that occassionally when we lived in MQ but overall I would say most of us are down to earth and the best of it is we all have been through the same thing!!!
Hope you are feeling better soon sweets and if ever you do move it you are glad of the peace and quiet when they go away for a few weeks!!!!
Nicki
xx
I am a navy wag living in Yeovil too!!!
I moved from shrops to be with my hubby, and moved my job too!!
Small world!
xx
Hello Locket 80.
Welcome to the site.
Every woman on here is going through pretty much the same hitng. We all hate the seperation and sleeping in an empty bed is just about the worst thing :(
But the girls on here are so positive, helpful and friendly.
Where are you living at the moment? xxx
Hello Locket 80.
Welcome to the site.
Every woman on here is going through pretty much the same hitng. We all hate the seperation and sleeping in an empty bed is just about the worst thing :(
But the girls on here are so positive, helpful and friendly.
Where are you living at the moment? xxx
Locket posted back in August last year hun, think another new member resurrected this post? xxx
Locket posted back in August last year hun, think another new member resurrected this post? xxx
Oops :p
Sorry lol xx
Hehe, just thought you might be waiting a while for a reply ;) Doesnt beat the balls up on my thread I made this morning that the delightful Ashlea pointed out to me :p oops! xx
Thats me not paying any attention!! I blame it on the fact that I aint well at the moment!!!! xx
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