Rachel
,
>One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
>sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you
>want."
>
>So he tied her up and went golfing.
>
>**************************************************
>
>A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
>the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
>"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
>
>The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
>
>**************************************************
>
>Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
>other is a husband.
>
>**************************************************
>
>A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
>
>First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed
>him a card with the letters:
>'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
>
>"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
>
>"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
>**************************************************
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns
>together and said to them,
>
> "I must tell you all something. We have
>a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
>
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the
>back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
>
>
>**************************************************
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried
>eggs for her husband.
>
> Suddenly, her husband burst into the
>kitchen.
>
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in
>some more butter! Oh my GOD!
> You're cooking too many at once. TOO
>MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE
>are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .
>CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
>Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
>Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use
>the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
>
> The wife stared at him. "What in the
>world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of
>eggs?"
>
> The husband calmly replied, "I just
>wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
>sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you
>want."
>
>So he tied her up and went golfing.
>
>**************************************************
>
>A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
>the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
>"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
>
>The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
>
>**************************************************
>
>Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
>other is a husband.
>
>**************************************************
>
>A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
>
>First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed
>him a card with the letters:
>'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
>
>"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
>
>"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
>**************************************************
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns
>together and said to them,
>
> "I must tell you all something. We have
>a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
>
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the
>back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
>
>
>**************************************************
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried
>eggs for her husband.
>
> Suddenly, her husband burst into the
>kitchen.
>
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in
>some more butter! Oh my GOD!
> You're cooking too many at once. TOO
>MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE
>are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .
>CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
>Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
>Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use
>the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
>
> The wife stared at him. "What in the
>world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of
>eggs?"
>
> The husband calmly replied, "I just
>wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."