carly
,
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
>>decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the
>>proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said,
>>"Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
>>
>>
>> Half an hour later, just by chance, a
>>door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping
to
>>make a sale.
>>
>>
>> Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come
>>to...'' "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed,
"I've
>>been expecting you." "Have you really? " said the photographer.
"Well,
>>that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
>>
>>
>> "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
>>Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing,
>>"Well, where do we start?"
>>
>>
>> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
>>the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
>>sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
>>there."
>>
>>
>> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
>>work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a
>>good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I
>>shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the
>>results."
>>
>>
>>
>> "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>> "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
>>time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd
be
>>disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>>
>>
>> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
>>out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
>>bus," he said.
>>
>>
>> "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
>>her throat.
>>
>>
>> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
>>when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
>>
>>
>> "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
>>to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around
four
>>and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs.
Smith,
>>her eyes wide with amazement.
>>
>>
>> "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
>>than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling -
>>I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
rush
>>my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I
>>just had to pack it all in."
>>
>>
>>
>> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
>>actually chewed on your, Uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes..
Well,
>>if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right
>>away."
>>
>>
>> "Tripod?"
>>
>>
>> "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
>>my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
>>
>>
>> Mrs. Smith fainted
>>decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the
>>proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said,
>>"Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
>>
>>
>> Half an hour later, just by chance, a
>>door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping
to
>>make a sale.
>>
>>
>> Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come
>>to...'' "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed,
"I've
>>been expecting you." "Have you really? " said the photographer.
"Well,
>>that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
>>
>>
>> "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
>>Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing,
>>"Well, where do we start?"
>>
>>
>> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
>>the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
>>sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
>>there."
>>
>>
>> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
>>work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a
>>good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I
>>shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the
>>results."
>>
>>
>>
>> "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>> "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
>>time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd
be
>>disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>>
>>
>> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
>>out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
>>bus," he said.
>>
>>
>> "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
>>her throat.
>>
>>
>> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
>>when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
>>
>>
>> "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
>>to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around
four
>>and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs.
Smith,
>>her eyes wide with amazement.
>>
>>
>> "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
>>than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling -
>>I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
rush
>>my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I
>>just had to pack it all in."
>>
>>
>>
>> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
>>actually chewed on your, Uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes..
Well,
>>if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right
>>away."
>>
>>
>> "Tripod?"
>>
>>
>> "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
>>my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
>>
>>
>> Mrs. Smith fainted