Wrens

[Kitty1]

Hey girls,

I'm new to the site, got told about it from a friend, thank god for friends!

I just wanted some opinions, my OH is away for the second time since we've been together, first time was for 5 weeks, it was hard but I'm surprised at how well I coped and how great it was when he came back on leave. Now he's away for another 3 months, and although I miss him, I'm sure I'll be fine.

My only niggle though is when he mentions wrens. I know he works with them and there's not much I can do about that, but when he came back on leave one of them kept texting him, nothing dodgy though. They seem to be just friends. Then my OH told me about the last ship he was on (before he met me) where they were all at it constantly, although he assures me he wasn't involved because wrens aren't his type, and apparently this ship is a lot smaller and stuff like that doesn't really happen(!)

Only the other night, whilst they were docked in Holland and he was out on the p*ss with his mates he sent me a text telling me that he was the girls' mess pin up, and that I shouldn't be jealous! Then he sent another text telling me I shouldn't worry about it because they weren't his type and he didn't fancy any of them. I got really angry (obviously!) and we had a fight over the phone, whilst he was drunk, which is never a good idea.

He apologised the next day, and now as far as he's concerned, everything has gone back to normal. I just don't know whether he said those things because he was deliberately trying to make me jealous, because he was feeling a bit insecure and wanted a reaction from me, or whether I should be reading more into it? I just don't know! He keeps telling me how great I am and how much he loves me, misses me etc, so I'm really confused.

Any advice?
Kitty x

[Emzy]

Hi hun, welcome to wags!!! There could be a few different reasons why he said what he did!! I think sometimes, when you're away from your oh for a long period of time, you can get insecure and worry about what your oh is doing. It looks to me that he may have been trying to get a reaction out of you, maybe to see if it would bother you. He might have said it to see if you'd care??? My oh gets a bit jelous if i mention i'm out and there's lads there, and i must admit sometimes i like to hear that he gets a bit funny about it, not because he doesnt trust me, but because he knows what guys are like, but to me it shows that he gives a damn. (i sound a bit mean now) maybe when he gets back just ask him about it? how long have you been together???

I would try not to speak over the phone, arguements over the phone are the worst, i save it til my oh gets home, haha, then he cant escape me, lol. Hope you're ok though chick xx

[Kitty1]

Thanks for the reply chick, I honestly thought I was going a bit mad. We've been together for just over 6 months, so not very long, but in every way he's so different from anyone else I've ever met! Before he went away the first time we were inseperable, SO in love it was brilliant!

But since he went back on ship the second week of April he's been a little bit distant and the wren thing was a perfect example. I love him to bits and miss him huge amounts but I do cope when he's away, maybe he'd prefer me to be crying all the time (I did when he left, I do have a heart!)

I can understand him wanting a reaction, I don't do it to him, and he tells me he's not a jealous person (I think everyone is to a degree!) but I can understand.

It doesn't help that I couldn't go visit him in Glasgow last weekend, any other weekend would have been no problem, but there was no possible way I could do this one as he only gave me 7 days notice! So he's been p*ssed off at me for over a week...I just wish it would go back to the way it was the first time he went away!

Has anything ever dragged on for a long time whilst your OH has been away? I just want to give him a hug and I can't! x

[Emzy]

Aw, thats so lovely, bout you being so in love and being inseperable!! Me and my oh were like that when we first met, well we still are when he's home.

and dont worry you're not going mad at all!!!

There is a chance hes distancing himself so he doesnt miss you too much, if that makes any sense?? My oh does this. He's based in Germany so i dont see him much. He barely ever calls me, he says that hearing my voice brings it all back and make him too sad, just we mainly rely on texting.
It's not fair for him to be annoyed at you for that weekend, it's not your fault you couldnt make it!! Bless ya!!

Me and my oh has a big row over the phone once about a dating site i found out he'd been on. Was so easy for him to lie to me over the phone, and to be honest, i had to let it go and forget about it till he was home, or it would have eaten me up. When he came back, we spoke about it and i got everything out of him, yes he had lied to me but he hadnt done anything else wrong other than lie!!! (ie. he hadnt actually chatted to anyone or cheated etc). It was very hard to do, but i made myself forget it ever happened and all is in the past.
xx

[Chezabell82]

Welcome to wags fellow welshy :D

I agree with Emma, talk to him when you see him next, dont get arguing on the phone as itll make things worse xxx

[Kitty1]

Hey hun, I think I've learnt my lesson with that one, it's a steep learning curve! Lol x