From the other side of the tour.

By Jenny - one of our members

I thought it might be interesting to try and do something for wags from the soldiers prospective, we know how we cope while our other halves are away but how do they cope? We log on here and talk out our worries with all the other girls but what do they do? How does being away affect them?

I sent a questionnaire out to a hot and sunny tour area, I sent 10 questionnaires to be completed and sent back to me confidentially. My ‘roving reporter’ didn’t quite manage to get all 10 filled in because he had to stop because he was told it was ‘unofficial’ and obviously it could be picked up by the media. Having said that I thought you all might be interested anyway.

The replies are from soldiers who have been in the Army for between 4 and 18Years, they have been away on tours totalling between 2 and 4 years – that’s a long time out of someone’s life to be away from family and friends don’t you think?

I asked them – Does it get easier or harder the more tours you do? Everyone said ‘harder’ – so it gets harder for them but they are doing more tours now than previously because of lack of man power and government commitment!

They all hated being away from loved ones and the things that kept them going was

‘any contact at all no matter what the form’
‘r&r, phone calls, saving money’
‘Support from the boys here’
‘Emails, phone calls’

And the one I though most poignant was simply….. ‘pride’!

They all preferred hand written blueys although the e bluey is faster – so you better get those pens out girls and give your man a moral boost!!

When asked what the hardest part of being away was they all said – being away from family and having to queue to use the phones and computers doesn’t make things any easier. Lets just be glad they are willing to queue otherwise we wouldn’t get our calls and eblueys girls….so when we complain that we haven’t heard from them just bear in mind that they are busy and having to queue in the blazing heat just for that 10 minute call to make us feel better – what good chaps they are eh, its not like they can just flip open their mobile! (Unless they are really lucky!)

I asked ‘what would make it easier for you?’ and the resounding reply was ‘ not to have to go!’ although there was also ‘ having wireless capability for laptops, masts for mobile phones use, and alcohol! – well I guess I should have expected the last one!

I know we all worry about different things when our fella’s are away but I’m sure at some point most people think about fidelity – is he going to be faithful while he’s away?????? So I thought I’d turn the tables and ask them if they worry about their other halves being unfaithful left back in the UK – I wasn’t quite expecting the response I got!!! There was the ‘I don’t worry because my girl is completely faithful – I don’t have any worries’

To – ‘No I trust her but she is ugly anyway so won’t pull’!!!!!

To finally… and this is the best one….do you worry about your partner being faithful while you are away?....answer…’I don’t worry cos I know she won’t be faithful’!!!! Now that guy is very brave to think like that don’t you think??? Would you be so comfortable knowing your other half was being unfaithful and there was nothing you could do about it?

Finally I asked them if there was anything that would improve tour for them, most of them said ‘to sign of’, a couple said ‘don’t change things cos it will only get worse’ and 1 said ‘ continue with all the support ,with emails, letters and calls, but maybe 30 mins free calls wasn’t enough cos it takes 10 mins to say goodbye, and web cams on the computers would help.’

So girls, they probably worry about the same things we do, getting and sending mail is important as are those lovely phone calls even after all the queuing! Get out those pens and handwrite your mail occasionally instead of relying on the eblueys cos its more personal to hand write and you can draw that little heart at the end with both your initials in it….come on I know you want to! And all of us need to be queuing at PC World to get web cams on our computers so that when he’s online he can see what he’s missing…even if you are sat on the sofa in your PJ;s with a tear stained face!!